Ellie Cook interviews Laurel Wagstaff about her experience of having doula support.
Where did you first hear about doulas?
I’m from the California Bay Area, and a few of our friends there are doulas - so it was on our radar as something to look into when I first became pregnant in 2021.
Why did you decide hiring a doula was right for you?
We felt that having a doula would give us the best chance at having a positive birth experience for both my children.
When I became pregnant and started to learn about pregnancy and birth, I was surprised by how little I knew, how little folks talked about birth itself, and how much there was to learn and understand!
Being able to work with a doula - someone who had specific expertise and experience across the whole process, in addition to experience of the medical system generally and in our areas - was so helpful.
This felt especially important since it’s so hard to get individualized care during pregnancy and birth at the moment - when I was attending my prenatal appointments I never met with the same midwife twice! A doula provided that consistency of care, could take the time to learn what I wanted from my birth experience, and give me the right information to support me.
What were your expectations of what a doula would provide?
We were lucky enough to work with doulas pre and postnatally, and of course during birth.
Before birth: Support to understand my birth choices and make the right decisions. Providing a huge wealth of information suited to the questions we had during pregnancy and during birth. Both practical and emotional support navigating the medical system and difference choices or worries we had.
During Birth: Supporting me as the birthing parent to navigate whatever happened, and my partner so that he could be there for me.
After birth: Practical and informational support during the early days with a newborn!
I’d say this matched up well with what actually happened too!
Were you both on board from the start?
Yes, we were both enthusiastic about working with a doula. My partner is extremely supportive, and is/was an amazing birth partner, and he knew that having doula support would create the space for him to be as supportive and present as possible with me throughout the pregnancy, birth, and postnatal recovery. (In addition to the practical things - like having an expert on call for all of our questions, particularly when he had concerns I didn’t and via versa!)
How did a doula support each parent?
Before birth:
Our doulas provided both of us with relevant, data backed information throughout pregnancy, and addressed our collective and individual concerns and questions. We had a shared whatsapp and got responses in minutes if there was ever anything we were interested in, worried about, or needed advice on.
The birth:
Our doula helped with a range of things: helping my partner to prepare and fill the birth pool, taking turns doing hip squeezes during my labor, helping to create the environment as needed. I was very much in it, but my partner worked with our doula who could give her expert opinion on where I was in labor, and what this might mean in terms of when we should call the midwife, etc.
After birth:
Our doula helped to clean up the birth pool and room so that my partner and I could enjoy the first few moments together with our newborn.
Our doula helped to support our birth choices in finding the opportunity for us both to have early skin-to-skin contact, to have my partner cut the cord, to help me with early breastfeeding.
There was so much more too that I can’t quite remember!
Postnatally:
We got support from an expert in newborns and early postnatal recovery who could give us advice and resources about what was happening (from poos, to feeding, to expectations on sleep, to how my body was feeling), and practical support to help us feel a little more human (holding the baby so I could take a shower, doing the dishes, making and bringing us food and tea.) Early newborn days can be emotional, and our postnatal doula helped to normalize and support through this as well.
This sort of support is transformative - it allowed us both to focus on our newborn, eachother, our toddler (for the second birth), in a time that is hugely overwhelming, challenging, physically demanding, and emotional.
What would you say to other families considering doula support?
Do it! I think Doula support is for everyone (before, during, and after birth), and for such an important moment in life (for mother, father, and baby!) - it’s so worth it.
It’s true that there are some things you can’t control about how your birth will go, but I think that having a doula gives you the best chance of navigating whatever happens and having a positive experience.
We are so lucky in Cambridge too that there is an amazing network and community of doulas, and you can really find someone who fits you and your family.
Working with a doula feels like the way birth and early parenthood should be: having a member of the community who knows about the complexities of pregnancy, birth, and postnatal reality, who can be there throughout the journey, who has the well being of the mother, father, baby and family in mind first and foremost, and who through all of this creates a positive start for the family.
Highly recommend!
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