Hypno-what?
Henry is our rainbow baby. We lost our first in 2021 with a missed miscarriage [MMC], so the lead up to Henrys birth was a mixture of feeling eternally grateful for being lucky enough to carry our rainbow, and nervousness to bring him earthside safely. Due to the MMC, Hospitals were nothing but a negative and sad place for me and held absolutely zero Oxytocin. My husband equally dislikes hospitals, I mean who does like them!? Being lucky enough to be close friends with the wonderful Letty, it was a no-brainer for her to become our doula, teach us hypnobirthing, and be our breastfeeding guru. We felt exceptionally lucky to have such an invaluable resource.
My husband would be the first to say that he thought ‘hypno’ birthing was a load of tosh. Why wouldn’t we want to be in the ‘safe’ setting of a hospital? It just shows you the assumptions behind the misleading name of Hypnobirthing. It took Letty all of 15 minutes in our first class to inform him of the basics, for his first words to be ‘Well it’s just common sense, why on earth wouldn’t you use hypnobirthing?!’.
Home birthing it up
So, we were all set. We had our amazing classes with Letty. We educated ourselves completely on the birth, breathing techniques, different options, circumstances, choices and most importantly what our rights were and what we could control and what we had to let mother nature take her lead on. It was a no-brainer for us then to choose a home birth. Yes, Henry was our first baby, yes, we had lost a baby, but, as a midwife once put it to me, Henry was a new set of ingredients to making our cake – it didn’t mean things would be the same, it didn’t mean things would go wrong again, and I felt so much happier and comfortable at home.
We collected a ‘homebirth box’ from Addenbrookes, and kept it in our spare room, along with our birth pool, cover, towels, hose and sieve [luckily that remained unused!]. We did a prep run with Letty, we blew up the pool, made sure the hose could reach and decided where everything would go, it was so great to prep in this way because it took any unknown out of the birth set-up for us.
The wait
Fast forward to 40 weeks and I started to be put under more and more pressure for induction and hospital birth – ‘But are you sure you aren’t too uncomfortable and want to try a sweep?’ – NO THANKS. That was my answer each time. I really wanted to let Henry come when he was ready, naturally and without pressure. Fast forward another two weeks and Letty had to continuously reassure and support me in my knowing that waiting was the best decision. It wasn’t that I wanted to rush Henry, it was the pressure I was feeling to be induced and go into Hospital, scaring me into not trusting my instincts.
We started to try a few things to feel like we were being proactive; walks, bumpy car rides, more walks, bouncing endlessly on my ball, curries, acupuncture, chiro pressure, reflexology. Did they work? We will never know, but they made me feel better!
THE day
Wednesday 9th August 2023 – the MOST amazing day of our lives.
6.30am, 42 weeks, sunny blue-skied morning. Oh, hey period pains! How are you doing? Something going on down there? Not sure… shower? Wash hair? Yes OK…
9.30am – I still wasn’t convinced, was this it? Why could no one tell me what contractions felt like, how did I know ‘this was it’ without a huge dramatic film-style water break? I forced down some peanut butter on toast and said to Tom, I think this is it. Once I said it out loud, it became so much more real. I really did believe that this was it. I let Letty know, so she had plenty of notice ‘just in case’ and went about our day.
11.00am – Contractions started, or should I call them ‘Surges’, mhm, they felt more like surges, my body doing its thing, moving Henry down with each one. We put Only Fools and Horses on, don’t ask me why, and I bounced on my ball and kept moving. They were regular, Tom started to write them down on an A4 bit of paper, a surge lasting around a minute every few minutes, reassuring!
12.30pm – Tom put the pool up. The pump can be loud, so I didn’t want to be too ‘in the zone’ and then have this loud whirring in the background so we did all the ‘logistical’ things. Put the pool up, towels, etc. and that suddenly made me feel like this really could be it. Tom spoke to the Rosie, and they told us they didn’t have any local midwives on call today, did we want to go into hospital? No thanks, we’re all good.
2.30pm – Change of scenery? It was a beautiful hot sunny day, so we walked around the garden, embracing each surge as they came, breathing my way through and listening to the birds. It had been in my hypno practice, my ‘ideal’ birth scenario, and so far, it was all living up to its expectations!
3.30pm – Thank God, Letty you’re here. Change of person, change of pace, do I want to go for a walk? Do I buggery. It's not optional apparently, so off we go. Letty trots us around the Village, with me walking like I had a basketball between my legs and stopping every minute to lean on Tom and embrace another surge. Eesh, this was intense!
Still no midwives available, do we want to go into Hospital? No thanks…
4.15pm – Tom and Letty started to fill the pool up, and I was in the zone. Surges were coming thick and fast, getting more intense and my body was doing its thing. But still no ‘show’, no water break, no other ‘signs’ just the reassuring regularity of the surges. Letty suggested I lunged and squatted through some of the surges. It was certainly moving Henry into the right position and made me feel like I was really helping him.
5.00pm – Midwife phones, no one available, can I speak to the mum? The ONLY time I cried during labour and birth, trying to answer the same questions during intense surges of ‘do I want to go in?’ NO THANKS!
Letty suggested I get on the loo; I lose a big part of my mucus plug – AMAZING! We have some progression; can I get in the pool? Absolutely, OMGGGG! The incredible pain relief called water. The only pain relief I had and needed during the whole thing. It was amazing. Weightless, cooling, reassuring and such a relief.
6.00pm – Things are definitely ramping up; Midwife appears from the Rosie – Hi! I had minimal interventions, one blood pressure check, two baby heart rate monitoring and no vaginal examinations, that was my call, my wishes, and they were so great at honouring them. The midwife sat quietly in the corner whilst I listened to my Hypno tracks and Letty and Tom fed me squash, Oreos and spoons of honey, yum!
7.00pm – Another midwife shows up, lovely! We are ALL set, things were ramping up, I was breathing, breathing and breathing.
8.00pm – WOW what is my body doing, am I going to push? I think I want to push; this is it. Eeek!
Another Midwife shows up, fab! We had one with a mirror observing at a distance, one filming and taking pictures of their own accord [AMAZING] and the other on standby ready if we needed them. We were so lucky, I was in the pool, on my knees, my husband to my right, best friend and Doula on my left, looking out at the setting sun, blue skies and garden. Could this have been any more perfect for us? How lucky are we?
8.05pm – New midwife gives me a pep talk, this is it, we’re going to do this, here we go…
8.15pm – First push, wow, I didn’t do anything, but my body did! It was incredible. I am petrified of sick or being sick, and so that and pooping [obviously] were not top of my list during labour, however, the feeling my body made when I wanted to push was what you get when you are about to be sick, this rollercoaster of contracting muscles from the top to the bottom of you, squeezing your miracle further down each time, it was so intense, so sudden that I couldn’t help but make the most primal crazy noises each time and really had to work hard to control my breathing. It was a scary sensation for me, but I trusted my body and gave in to it, trying not to fight it and it made it so much easier. Letty suggested I change my birthing position slightly, I was on my knees, leaning over the side of the pool and had my knees inverted. It was comfortable and felt right for delivering him.
9.00pm – A handful of pushes had come and gone, intense, with lovely respite between each one, building to the next. I was safe, with people I loved, in the home I loved, I could do this. Why isn’t he crowning? The midwife suggested he could still be in his waters and coached me through how to feel on the next push, if his head felt spongy, he was still in the sack, if hard, my waters had gone. The next push came, I had a feel, and it was spongy and VERY hairy! It was amazing and breathtaking all at the same time. I pushed a slightly different way and my waters popped, it was such a relief and things intensified even more. They had been worried about meconium in my waters, but it was crystal clear, and I was so relieved, as they would have wanted me to transfer in if that had been the case.
9.14pm – Out came his head. WOW, I just delivered our baby’s head. WOW. They talk about the ring of fire, yup, definitely! But it was such an immense feeling of relief.
Once his head crowned my body gave me a break and I had my ‘I can’t do this’ moment, one look at Letty who was basically like ‘you just need to breathe and crack on mate’, and so I did. I experienced the only two moments of ‘pain’ throughout the whole thing and screamed out, I thought someone was pulling him out of me, but no one was touching me. Henry was corkscrewing, one shoulder and then the other, turning as he came out during a push. It was so intense my whole body worked so hard, and then he was out, there he was. All 8lb 2oz of a rosy, full head of hair boy!
It was indescribable, the most incredible feeling, achievement, the wonderous moment of bringing our boy earthside. His gender was a surprise, and it was so special for my husband to look and say, ‘It’s a BOY!’. His cord was wrapped around his neck but not tightly and I instinctively was not worried, the midwife helped me to untangle him, it was long and thin so plenty there for me to sit back and pop him on my chest. Letty helped by pulling my bra straight down, enabling Henry to latch on which he did instantly, along with a lovely meconium poo!
9.25pm – I was really worried about bleeding after having him as with my MMC I haemorrhaged and wanted to avoid the injection if I could, I checked with the midwife and she reassured me the water was a Rose not a Merlot, so we were all good!
Now came the tricky part… getting out the pool! I had been in since 5pm, so four hours, my legs were like jelly and I felt amazing but weak. The sides to the pool are so high so it looked like a mountain with a baby on me and placenta still inside me! But everyone was amazing, with Tom, midwives and Letty all ready to catch me or baby, I clambered over the side of the pool and waddled over to the sofa which the Midwives had covered with towels for us.
The after bit…
Once settled on the sofa, wrapped in towels and staring at our perfect miracle, everyone set to work without us knowing a thing. Letty was busy in the kitchen, sorting, tidying, emptying the pool and deflating it. Tom was making tea and bacon butties, and the two midwives we were left with were amazing, checking me and Henry over. They gave us time, to soak him up, let him feed and allow my placenta to naturally come away. Letty suggested I go back on the loo around 45 minutes after his birth, so another waddle to the toilet with Henry on me and a small push and there it was. The incredible organ that had kept my baby alive for 42 weeks.
Back to the sofa now feeling so relieved, comfortable and elated, Tom presented me with the BEST tasting cup of tea I think I have ever had and a bacon sarnie - errr what more would you want? The midwives set to work stitching me up [two small second-degree tears] and they were amazing. I had a painkiller suppository, which was AMAZING and numbed everything for 12 hours!
After a good while, Tom cut Henry's cord and we used our own crochet cord tie with a rainbow, bee and salmon on it, all things that mean something to us. It was so much nicer and more comfortable than the plastic cord clamp. Tom then had skin-to-skin whilst the midwife laid out my placenta for me to admire and explained everything to me, it was so interesting!
I then hopped off for a shower which felt so good, put on some comfy snuggly clothes and a nappy, obviously, then proceeded to potter and clean around the kitchen, until a midwife pointed out that I had just had a baby and should probably come and sit down.
Back to the sofa, with Henry, feeding away, I was in a total love bubble. We weighed him, did all his checks and the midwives said their goodbyes and left. Letty then proceeded to tuck us up in bed, lying me down in the perfect co-sleeping breastfeeding position with Tom on the other side and left us at around 1am. The house was clean, everything was away, we had called our immediate family, and we were snuggled up in bed. Did we sleep? Of course we didn’t, we stared at him all night, until 5.30am came around and we video called all our family and friends, safe and sound from our own bed.
On Cloud Nine
All in all, the whole birth couldn’t have gone more to plan, it was perfect, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Everyone was amazing, Tom was supportive, encouraging, calm, caring and the most incredible husband and dad. Letty was a reassuring voice, strong, confident, calm and wonderful. The midwives were amazing, and our son was perfect.
I feel incredibly lucky to have had this experience, but trust me, this doesn’t have to be the exception to the norm, this should be the norm.
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